Attempting to answer what the wind industry will not, Mr. Dave Umling offers this:

We haven’t received a direct answer yet, so I have applied my professional planning knowledge of research and survey techniques to identify some of the most frequent responses to that basic wind energy question. Here is the result of my considerable research:

FROM MY HOME OFFICE IN NEW CREEK, WV, Dave Umling’s top 15 responses to the question of how much greenhouse gas emission reductions industrial wind energy can achieve…

15. “Hi, Billy Mays here! Have I got a product for you! It’s the new and improved Oxy-Clean Energy Credits from Enron. It’s guaranteed to clean away the toughest greenhouse gas stains.”

14. A TIE –

Could you please repeat the Question? I couldn’t hear it over all the wind turbine noise;

and

(Groan) I’m sorry, I’d like to answer your question but my mind hasn’t been working at peak efficiency lately. Ever since they built those wind turbines on the ridge above my house, I haven’t been getting much sleep and I don’t know why.

13. Would you PLEASE stop with all the bird and bat mortality crap? Can’t you understand that we’re trying to save the environment?

12. No, not even Tax Masters can get the IRS to reduce the amount of Wind Energy Tax Credits you owe.

11. If Stephen Hawking can’t answer that question, how in heck can you expect me to?

10. I can answer that question with 3 simple words…jobs, jobs, jobs.

9. Okay, let’s just get to the REAL heart of the matter. How much can we contribute to your organization?

8. I would answer that question, but I seem to have forgotten my slide rule. Let me get back to you on that, later.

7. I believe that President Obama best addressed that issue at the 2009 Beer Summit when he burped.

6. What? Do you really mean to say that you don’t believe in Global Warming?

5. A lot, but only on the 3rd full moon of the month.

4. Nine out of ten wind energy developers surveyed agree that wind energy is 99 44/100 percent pure and that it leaves your dishes virtually spotless. I was informed that the tenth wind energy developer choked to death on his bran muffin before he could vote.

3. According to the best minds at the National Renewable Energy Lab, you can calculate that figure by determining the average wind speed in your area, multiplying it by the square root of January, dividing by zero, then just making it up.

2. According to Deep Thought, the greatest computer mind ever created, the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is 49.

1. THE NUMBER ONE ANSWER IS:  VERY LITTLE!  IF INDUSTRIAL WIND ENERGY COULD EFFECTIVELY REDUCE GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS FROM ENERGY PRODUCTION IT WOULD HAVE A CAPACITY VALUE GREATER THAN ZERO!

There!  I hope this lays this question to rest once and for all. By the way, none of the responses below number 1 received more than 14 responses.

Enjoy the ongoing insanity of our wind energy issues.

We thank Mr. Umling for his help and encourage the politicians and government agencies supporting industrial wind, the industrial wind LLCs developing projects and even the industrial wind plants supported by huge taxpayer subsidies to offer their response.  Until then, we’ll just go with Mr. Umling’s number one answer to the question, “when a wind energy project is connected to the grid, how much greenhouse gas emission reduction will it really achieve?” … “VERY LITTLE!  IF INDUSTRIAL WIND ENERGY COULD EFFECTIVELY REDUCE GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS FROM ENERGY PRODUCTION IT WOULD HAVE A CAPACITY VALUE GREATER THAN ZERO!”